The Tale of Joan….and her hobby.

Back in 1959, there was a woman named Joan.  Joan lived the ideal life. Wonderful husband. Four beautiful children. And a three story ranch with  garage.  But  alas, Joan needed more. She needed excitement. She needed a thrill. She needed….a hobby.

One martini-soaked afternoon, she saw an advertisement in the back of her “Good Housekeeping” magazine for the book “Alcoa’s Book of Decorations”.  Alcoa! Holy cow!  That was her favorite aluminum foil! This was EXACTLY what she needed!

So off in the mail went her order form.

Two weeks went by….then three ….then four. Finally, one  sunny day, her book came in the mail! And her life changed….

It was better than she imagined! She immediately got to work.  She made 86 aluminum foil angels the first day alone….only stopping to run to the store for more foil.

The next day she made a foil structure to display her fruits and vegetables.  The family loved her new artistic flair…but were somewhat disappointed when they learned they weren’t allowed to eat the food.  Just look at it.  Worse, the aluminum foil was ruining the reception on the console TV she used for the display.  But they were happy that she was happy.

After awhile, the kids decided that they would join in on the fun. At first, everything was great.

Susan made a stick pony.

David made a wig.

And little Zebediah made a 122 pound space costume.

 

 

But things began to change. The passion for aluminum foil crafts was beginning to fade for everyone….except Joan. She started to “amp” things up in the foil department.

She made lawn decorations for her home…and for all of her neighbors. Things would have been fine if they weren’t 6 feet tall. Or wearing their personal clothes. Or anatomically correct.

She volunteered to make the decorations for her parents’ anniversary.

A decision that her parents truly regretted, along with the  dinner choice.

And little Julie was more than a little disappointed when her mother made ALL of her birthday presents…ala Alcoa.

But then, it just got weird.  One day, her children came home from school.  They had heard music as they were walking up the walkway and what sounded like glass crashing.  When they opened the door…

…they froze in disbelief. The formal front room had been turned into an impromptu dance floor.  Foil people  dancing everywhere. Music. Decorations. Fondue.

And in the middle of the of it all… their mother. Doing the “Mashed Potato” like there was no tomorrow.

Things were never the same after that.  Some say Joan ran away to work in an Alcoa factory. Others say she found a place on the edge of town…and designed all of her furnishings with foil.

Still others had their own tale of seeing her down by the water treatment plant…..

It had all started so innocently. A woman. A book.

And 400 rolls of aluminum foil.

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4 Responses to The Tale of Joan….and her hobby.

  1. OMG, ROTFL, this is absolutely hilarious!!! You certainly have a knack for storytelling but of course you had some great inspriation … ha!! Gotta have that book so I’m definitely coming back tomorrow!

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  4. Oh my goodness! Thank you for starting my day with a good laugh 🙂

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